Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: The Secret to a Thriving Workplace

When people talk about great leaders, they often focus on intelligence, strategy, or decision-making. But in my experience, the most impactful leaders aren’t just the smartest in the room—they’re the ones who know how to connect with people on a human level. That’s where emotional intelligence (EQ) comes in.

EQ isn’t just a trendy buzzword; it’s a game-changer. It’s what allows leaders to inspire trust, navigate conflict, and build strong, loyal teams. I’ve seen firsthand how emotional intelligence can transform a workplace, and I’ve also experienced what happens when it’s missing. Let’s break down the five key components of EQ in leadership and why they matter.

1. Self-Awareness: Knowing Yourself to Lead Others

Great leaders know their strengths, weaknesses, and emotional triggers. They don’t let their egos get in the way of growth, and they recognize when they need to step back and reassess. I’ve worked under leaders who lacked self-awareness—those who were quick to place blame on others but never reflected on their own shortcomings. The result? A toxic environment where employees walked on eggshells.

For me, self-awareness has meant recognizing my own biases, understanding how my mood impacts my team, and continuously working to improve. If I’m stressed, I check in with myself before interacting with my team to ensure I’m not projecting negativity onto them. This simple habit has made a world of difference in how I communicate and connect with those I lead.

2. Self-Regulation: Staying Calm Under Pressure

Leadership is full of high-pressure moments, and how you handle them defines your impact. I’ve had bosses who exploded under stress, creating a culture of fear and uncertainty. On the flip side, I’ve worked for leaders who stayed composed, even in crisis situations, and that stability made all the difference in how the team performed.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is the power of pausing before reacting. When an employee makes a mistake or tensions rise, I take a breath and approach the situation calmly. Instead of lashing out or making impulsive decisions, I focus on solutions. This approach has helped me maintain trust and keep my team engaged, rather than making them fearful of making a mistake.

3. Motivation: Inspiring Without Micromanaging

A leader with high EQ doesn’t just chase personal success—they inspire their team to be their best. Motivation isn’t about barking orders; it’s about creating an environment where people want to do great work.

When I led a team in a previous role, I retained 100% of my staff for two years straight. Not because I offered the highest salaries or the cushiest benefits, but because I showed them that I cared. I took time to listen to their goals, checked in on their well-being, and made sure they felt valued. People don’t leave jobs—they leave bad leaders. By fostering an environment where my team felt supported and heard, they were motivated to stay and grow.

4. Empathy: The Heart of Leadership

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and in leadership, it’s essential. I’ve had leaders who dismissed concerns or brushed off struggles, and it made me feel like just another cog in the machine. But I’ve also had leaders who genuinely listened, and those were the jobs where I thrived.

I make it a point to practice active listening—not just hearing words, but truly understanding what my employees are feeling. Because of this, many colleagues and team members have seen me as a "safe place" to unload their struggles. They know that when they speak to me, I listen without judgment and keep our conversations confidential. In an environment where people feel emotionally safe, they perform better, communicate openly, and stay longer.

5. Social Skills: Building Strong, Trusting Relationships

Social skills go beyond being friendly; they’re about navigating relationships, resolving conflicts, and building a culture of trust. One of the biggest ways I’ve fostered trust is by taking confidentiality seriously. When people confide in me—whether it’s about a personal issue or a workplace concern—I don’t gossip or betray their trust. That might seem like a small thing, but in a world where workplace gossip is rampant, it makes a huge difference in how people view me as a leader.

I’ve also learned that social skills aren’t just about what you say, but how you say it. The ability to give feedback constructively, de-escalate tense situations, and create a sense of belonging within a team are all part of strong leadership. The best leaders I’ve worked with made everyone feel seen and heard, not just their "favorites." That’s something I strive to replicate every day.

The Bottom Line: Emotional Intelligence Defines Leadership

Looking back, my satisfaction at work has always been tied to the emotional intelligence of my leaders. When I worked under someone with high EQ, I felt supported, valued, and motivated. When I worked under someone with low EQ, I felt disposable, unheard, and disengaged.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being the kind of person people trust, respect, and want to follow. By cultivating emotional intelligence, leaders don’t just improve their own performance; they create workplaces where people want to stay, grow, and succeed.

So, if you’re in a leadership position (or aspiring to be), ask yourself: Are you leading with emotional intelligence? If not, now is the time to start. Your team—and your success—depend on it.

Words Matter: Why We Need to Erase the "R" Word from Professional Spaces

Recently, I overheard a professional at work use the "R" word. I was stunned. In 2025, it’s hard to believe that anyone—especially in a professional setting—could be unaware of how inappropriate and harmful this language is. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’ve heard it, and I doubt it will be the last. But it made me reflect: How important are the words we choose in a professional environment?

Like many people, I may use some salty language among close friends or in casual settings where children aren’t present. But never that word. And in the workplace, I speak with dignity and respect—not just because I’m an HR professional, but because professionalism requires it. Our words shape the environment we create. If I worked on a ship, I might speak like a sailor. But I work in an office filled with people from diverse backgrounds, so I choose to communicate with respect.

This recent slip of the tongue—giving them the benefit of the doubt, despite the fact that I had heard it from the same person just a week before—reminded me of two moments that have stuck with me: the worst use of the word I’ve ever heard, and the most profound.

The Worst Use: When a Leader Fails to Lead

Years ago, I worked in HR for a company that supported adults with developmental disabilities—a field I had dedicated over a decade to and held deep love for. During a meeting with my HR colleagues and our director, the director told a story about a mistake she had made. She ended her anecdote by saying she felt like an "R" word for making that mistake.

Silence.

She quickly tried to backtrack, realizing what she had just said in a room full of advocates for individuals with disabilities. But the damage was done. At that moment, I lost all respect for her—not just as a leader, but as a professional. Read the room.

When I hear someone use that word, my respect for them vanishes. There is no excuse, no explanation, no "I didn’t mean it that way" that makes it okay.

The Most Profound Use: A Heartbreaking Truth

Years before my HR career, I worked directly with adults with developmental disabilities as a Direct Support Professional. One day, I was out for a walk with someone I supported when a car full of teenagers drove by, shouting something unintelligible from the window. The tone wasn’t pleasant, but I couldn’t make out what they had said.

Before I could react, the person beside me turned to me and said, "It’s like they’ve never seen an ‘R-worded’ person before."

My heart broke.

She wasn’t offended. She wasn’t shocked. She had been called that word so many times in her life that she had come to accept it as part of her identity.

The truth is, those teenagers could have been yelling about anything—maybe about me, since I’m overweight. Maybe about the fact that we were walking instead of driving. It could have been any number of things. But she assumed the worst. Because that was her lived experience. She had been conditioned to expect cruelty.

Watch Your Words. Choose Better.

The next time you think about using the "R" word—whether to describe yourself, someone else, or as a passing joke—think again.

There are people in this world who have spent years being mistreated, excluded, and dehumanized by that word and everything it represents. It’s unacceptable in public, and it’s certainly inappropriate in a professional setting.

Words matter. Choose them wisely. Choose them with respect. And most importantly, choose to be better.