Words Matter: Why We Need to Erase the "R" Word from Professional Spaces
Recently, I overheard a professional at work use the "R" word. I was stunned. In 2025, it’s hard to believe that anyone—especially in a professional setting—could be unaware of how inappropriate and harmful this language is. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’ve heard it, and I doubt it will be the last. But it made me reflect: How important are the words we choose in a professional environment?
Like many people, I may use some salty language among close friends or in casual settings where children aren’t present. But never that word. And in the workplace, I speak with dignity and respect—not just because I’m an HR professional, but because professionalism requires it. Our words shape the environment we create. If I worked on a ship, I might speak like a sailor. But I work in an office filled with people from diverse backgrounds, so I choose to communicate with respect.
This recent slip of the tongue—giving them the benefit of the doubt, despite the fact that I had heard it from the same person just a week before—reminded me of two moments that have stuck with me: the worst use of the word I’ve ever heard, and the most profound.
The Worst Use: When a Leader Fails to Lead
Years ago, I worked in HR for a company that supported adults with developmental disabilities—a field I had dedicated over a decade to and held deep love for. During a meeting with my HR colleagues and our director, the director told a story about a mistake she had made. She ended her anecdote by saying she felt like an "R" word for making that mistake.
Silence.
She quickly tried to backtrack, realizing what she had just said in a room full of advocates for individuals with disabilities. But the damage was done. At that moment, I lost all respect for her—not just as a leader, but as a professional. Read the room.
When I hear someone use that word, my respect for them vanishes. There is no excuse, no explanation, no "I didn’t mean it that way" that makes it okay.
The Most Profound Use: A Heartbreaking Truth
Years before my HR career, I worked directly with adults with developmental disabilities as a Direct Support Professional. One day, I was out for a walk with someone I supported when a car full of teenagers drove by, shouting something unintelligible from the window. The tone wasn’t pleasant, but I couldn’t make out what they had said.
Before I could react, the person beside me turned to me and said, "It’s like they’ve never seen an ‘R-worded’ person before."
My heart broke.
She wasn’t offended. She wasn’t shocked. She had been called that word so many times in her life that she had come to accept it as part of her identity.
The truth is, those teenagers could have been yelling about anything—maybe about me, since I’m overweight. Maybe about the fact that we were walking instead of driving. It could have been any number of things. But she assumed the worst. Because that was her lived experience. She had been conditioned to expect cruelty.
Watch Your Words. Choose Better.
The next time you think about using the "R" word—whether to describe yourself, someone else, or as a passing joke—think again.
There are people in this world who have spent years being mistreated, excluded, and dehumanized by that word and everything it represents. It’s unacceptable in public, and it’s certainly inappropriate in a professional setting.
Words matter. Choose them wisely. Choose them with respect. And most importantly, choose to be better.
